


She's made of outer space

by shanimalew



Series: Fictober 2019 [17]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drabble, Fictober 2019, Fluff, Gen, Historical, Light Angst, Lust, M/M, Nonbinary Crowley (Good Omens), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanimalew/pseuds/shanimalew
Summary: "Dear Andrew has found a new ‘potential wife’... you need to see this goddess! I know they are not really your area of interest, but you need to see her, and how it makes every non-queer man in that club go crazy"Aziraphale agrees to meet this infamous girlfriend...only to find out he's already acquainted with her.[Fictober 2019, Day 17]





	She's made of outer space

**Author's Note:**

> This is another headcanon dear to my heart...because I'm thirsty af for non-binary Crowley. Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

**Day 17: “There is just something about them/her/him.”**

“Mr.Fell, how nice to see you again! How long has it been?” says a man, stopping Aziraphale’s morning stroll.

After some seconds, much needed since today London is particularly foggy, Aziraphale recognises his friend Harry.

“Too long, my friend” he replies, smiling. “Work had me out of London for a while, how is everyone else?” Aziraphale asks.

Indeed, in the last month, he had no luck in his and Crowley’s arrangement and he had to travel all over England, multiple times. After the second time he suspected that the demon wasn’t feeling particularly keen on doing his job and just cheated to avoid it, but it's just an intuition. 

“Oh, you know how the club is. Everything and nothing changes, new gossip, old gossip... Oh, but there is a novelty! Dear Andrew has found a new ‘potential wife’ ”

“As he always does” Aziraphale adds, making both of them laugh. 

Everyone at the gentlemen’s club is now used to Andrew’s conquests, that he never fails to introduce as his new future wives, even if he has met them the day before. 

Aziraphale had himself met countless of his future wives, but he still had to meet his actual wife. He doesn't think he ever will…

“Well, she is a force to be reckoned. Hilarious. For one thing, she doesn't want to be called wife or something similar, which is new” Harry continues. Then, he gets closer to Aziraphale whispering “If you want my honest opinion I think this time it's going to be him that ends up with a broken heart”

“Oh really? I surely hope not, I’d hate to see him suffer”

“You know his heartbreak would last only a couple of weeks. Come on, old chap, you need to see this goddess! I know they are not really your area of interest, but you need to see her and how she makes every non-queer man in that club go crazy"

“If you insist, I will come. You're making me very curious” he says, making plans to meet him that night at seven.

Then he goes on with his business. He finishes his walk with a nice, long breakfast at his favourite patisserie, then he opens the shop and spends most of his day trying to stop people from buying his precious collection.

At half-past five, he closes the book he started reading and starts getting dressed for the evening, mind wondering about this infamous lady that bewitched his friend. He has to say, Andrew always had an impeccable taste in women, even though he never thought his friend would be into the ‘rebellious’ type, as Harry had hinted. Let it be known, he is not the man to judge easily, but after spending some time on this Earth, and a little less with this group of people, he realised that Andrew’s favourite type of women is always those nice ones that fall too fast, too deeply; like Andrew himself. The only difference is that what he calls love is just mere infatuation, while they really fall in love with him. 

Too many times he saw those poor girls cry after Andrew decided to prematurely end their relationship…

So, hearing that his new conquest is not already head over the heels for him leaves him surprised and also very, very curious.

And that’s why Aziraphale arrives a little bit early to the club, chatting with some other regular while waiting for his friends.

Harry arrives shortly after and as they start drinking their second scotch, Andrew makes his entrance. Alone.

“Aziraphale, my dear friend! What a pleasure to see you here, we deeply missed your presence. What did you do all this time? Found better friends?” Andrew asks, patting him on the shoulder. Aziraphale starts telling him about his travels for work, obviously omitting all the parts about him doing divine work.

“I can tell you’ve been very busy, the next drink is on me, then!” Andrews exclaims, silently gesturing the bartender for another round of drinks.

“Where is your lady, Andrew? Already got tired of her?” Harry asks, smirking.

“Very funny, Harry, really. No, I did not and I think I’ll never be. She is it, my friends” he replies, eyes looking away and hands dramatically gripping his shirt, mimicking a heart bursting out. “She is on the way, had some things to do, that’s why she couldn’t come with me. I can’t wait for you to meet her, Aziraphale. There is something about her that makes me go crazy every time she’s around. I swear she could make even you fall in love with her”

“Speaking about you, how is everything going with your so-called work friend?” Harry asks, completely ignoring Andrew’s declaration of love. “What was his name...Alastair?”

“Anthony” Aziraphale murmurs, already feeling warm in the face. “And he is a work friend, and nothing more, as I’ve told you countless times”

“But you wisssssh” Andrew sing-songs, “If you two are as close as you make it sound then you really should try and make a move. Being in love is the greatest thing in the world”

“Oh, shut up about it. I swear you get insufferable when you have sex, even worse than when you’re on forced abstinence!” Harry exclaims, but he has not the time to bring the conversation back to his favourite topic, Aziraphale’s love life, that they hear the door open.

The first thing they see is red.

A woman with luscious red hair and a red leather coat enters the bar. She confidently shrugs off the coat, gently handing it to the usher, revealing a, Aziraphale dares to say, quite scandalous short black dress. She looks around the room, eyes hidden behind big sunglasses, and starts slinking towards them.

Aziraphale’s heart stops at that, feeling cold and hot at the same time.

He knows that hair, and that way of walking like the person owns the room.

He gulps rather loudly.

“Yeah, I thought that too the first time” Harry whispers in his ear. Aziraphale feels even more embarrassed.

“My love, my light! You made it!” Andrew says, completely ignoring them, focused only on deeply kissing the woman.

Aziraphale wants nothing more than to disappear and let Satan drag him to Hell. Surely it won’t be as bad as seeing Andrew’s tongue down Crowley’s throat.

Harry clears his throat very loudly, making both Aziraphale and the couple in front of them look at him. Aziraphale tries to convey him all his gratitude with just one look.

“Sorry, chaps. Amelia does things to me” Andrew says, arm encircling the woman’s, Amelia’s...Crowley’s waist. “Oh, by the way. Amelia, this is my dear friend Aziraphale. Aziraphale, this is my beautiful goddess, Amelia”

Crowley, honest to God, laughs embarrassed, before locking eyes with Aziraphale. The angel sees the moment realisation hits the demon, who just stays there, looking at him for a few seconds. Then she extends her hand, letting Aziraphale kiss it.

“It’s a pleasure, Aziraphale” she says and God if his name doesn’t sound sinful coming from her lips.

Aziraphale prays that God isn’t looking his way right now, because She wouldn’t like his thoughts. At all.

“The pleasure is all mine, m’ lady. I heard only good things about you” he murmurs, lips still near Crowley’s hand. He looks up and sees Crowley smirking.

_ That serpent… _

Aziraphale is completely at loss for words, his mind only focusing on memorizing every detail of Crowley’s dress, hair, lips. He’s so much focused on how beautiful the demon is that night that he loses much of the conversation happening between the others.

He tries to recover, many times, during the rest of the night, but he can’t take his mind off Crowley… and how obscene she looks in that dress. He can see almost her tight! She must know she’s practically naked!

Aziraphale never hated fashion and the 19th century more…

“Is everything fine, Mr.Fell?” Crowley asks, looking at him innocently. But still, Aziraphale can see the hint of a smile and curses under his breath.

“Yes, sorry, I must be more tired than I thought. I’ve been traveling a lot this past month” he says, trying to convey subtly his frustration with her, but her smile grows impossibly wider.

“Oh, where did you go? Somewhere nicer than England, I hope” 

Aziraphale wants to say ‘You know very well where I’ve been’, but he manages to hold back.

“Amelia and I have been thinking of going away for a while, maybe to Sicily. I heard it’s wonderful this time of the year” Andrew says, leaving a wet kiss on Crowley’s cheek. She just looks at him amused.

Aziraphale watches their interaction, how she doesn’t deny Andrew’s words and how happy she seems to hear that man talk, to feel him close.

He never knew he could feel such anger towards one of God’s creations.

His heart aches to be the one at the receiving end of Crowley’s smiles, the one to be kissed and hugged by her.

The one and only one to be loved by her.

He doesn’t know how, but he manages to act like himself, despite his heart being dominated by jealousy and desire, for the rest of the night. He knows his friends didn’t find his behaviour suspicious just because they’d love to ask about it, without caring for etiquette; he only hopes Crowley didn’t realise anything.

God knows how difficult his life would be if the demon realises his feelings for her, especially now that she seems to be in a relationship with another person.

“Well, I think it’s time for us to go” Andrew says, standing up.

Aziraphale and Harry realise the late hour and also stand up, ready to leave the club. Andrew goes to take his and Crowley’s overcoats and Crowley is left alone with him...well him and Harry.

“It was very nice seeing you again Harry” she says, briefly hugging the man.

“And it’s always a pleasure seeing you, my dear”

Crowley then looks at him, a soft smile escaping her lips.

“A pleasure to meet you, Aziraphale” she says, then as she goes to hug him she adds, whispering: “See you tomorrow at our third Rendez-Vous”.

Her whisper crashes on Aziraphale’s cheek, and he feels a shiver pass over him.

“It was a pleasure for me as well, miss Amelia” he whispers, voice slightly trembling.

He sees Crowley falter at the use of her fake name, and Aziraphale counts it as a small victory.

Too small, however, compared to the weight of Crowley silking away, arm under Andrew’s, waving at them.

“Told you you were going to fall for her too” Harry says, looking a bit dazed, hand lingering on the point where Crowley kissed him.

“You have no idea” he whispers, eyes fixed on the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave kudos and comments if you liked! <3


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